Week 3

Dear ones,

This week, in numbers:

(3) # of poisonous snakes come across by my co-workers*

(2) # of artificial penis' I had to track down (and the number of nuns with which I had to discuss this, "Artificial what? Pains? What? OH!")**

(1) # of zulu discussions, complete with hand signals, I listened to regarding the importance of adult circumcision, and just exactly how it's done***

Let me explain. Last week I attended a short portion of a training being given by the Sonke Gender Justice Network in relation to a Unicef-sponsored grant the Sizanani Center is participating in. Sonke has trained an 8-person staff that will join us for two months to do outreach and training to men in Nkandla to address issues of gender inequality and violence, and their relationship to HIV and Aids. Now that the trainers have been trained, I am overseeing their preparations for a series of workshops (the first is next week) which will each target 40 men. Topics include gender roles, sexual rights and responsibilities, condom education and negotiations (enter the artificial penis – I suggested a banana as that's what was used my freshman year in sex-ed with Father Malo, but they didn't seem to think the men would take it seriously. Come to think of it, I'm not sure my classmates did either…) and culture and race issues as related to the issues being discussed. The training is quite thorough, with lots of exercises and "games" to help illustrate their points, and I can see how valuable it will be in challenging local men to rethink the things they've been led to believe about what it means to be a man, the nature of power and how these things relate to their health and the health of the women they love (not only their own wives/girlfriends – but their mothers, daughters etc.). I am enjoying working with my team, though it's putting me face to face with the Zulu work ethic – which if I had to describe it, I would call a work in progress.

My fellow volunteer, Benjamin, thinks that for the most part Zulus are just "lazy" – and this isn't the first time I've come across this sentiment. I have been thinking about it a lot – because I would never categorize an entire people group in such a way, and I have to believe there is more to it than that (and I can't believe the people who have descended from Shaka, who built up the Zulu state into the greatest power in southeast Africa by uniting tribal leaders during his rule could be all that lazy). What I've come up with is that being in as rural an area as we are, in a country that is still piecing itself together at the seams after years of fighting between cultural groups and then the absolute brutality of apartheid – things simply don't work the way they do in more developed areas. To expect people to be comfortable immediately with a "9-5" work day, and a management structure that stands completely outside of their culture and rural practices, isn't very realistic. I appreciate seeing how the sisters acknowledge this – but also try and challenge their workers (our caregivers who do community outreach are all young professionals, more or less) to adopt more productive work habits, hold a schedule and be responsible for the work they do. While I can understand how it might appear shocking to someone from the outside, I recognize that the systems we have in place are very different from traditional practices, so it's important to take baby steps. On that note I've introduced team evaluations so that my team can evaluate themselves and their co-workers and know that if they don't show up – it doesn't go unnoticed – and their compensation will likely be affected. We'll see where that gets us!

On a major side note, the sisters here faced a serious tragedy last week when one of their fellow Nardini sisters, Sr. Anne, was killed along with three of her hospice patients when the hospital at Maria Ratchitz (a community a few hours away) burned down. Sister Anne was well known and loved in Nkandla and died trying to save her patients. Please keep the sisters and her family in your prayers.

Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to use the piñatas the kids and I made this week (see attached picture). We're also going to do an Easter egg hunt if it stops raining – though the dogs (the incredibly annoying, over-achievers in the barking department that like to hang out outside my window) might make that especially challenging. Speaking of the kids – as I've been getting to know them better I thought I'd introduce a few. I will also be starting formal tutoring next week for the kids who are struggling in school along with Sr. Rose, the youngest sister who just returned from visiting her family and works here at the center. She's 25, plays guitar and sings and so of course, I adore her.

Lungisani: when he gets excited, he does this little dance move that is adorable. He's also quite wise – today when I was trying to bring balloons out and the kids were so excited that one got knocked over and was moved to tears, he wisely counseled me with a serious shake of his head that perhaps balloons were not a good idea right now.

Noluvo – She's often very quiet but has a radiating smile and she'll often edge in next to me so that she's suddenly just there by my side. She likes to repeat words I say in English – and her pronunciation is often right on which can be startling when I realize that she doesn't know what she's saying. It's so cute!

Lunga – She was the first child I remember meeting on my first day. She's got heaps of energy and reminds me of one of my favorite little kids, Juliet. She's not doing very well in school because I think she has trouble focusing, but she's the first one there when you need help, especially picking up and putting things away.

Lindilani – Fast becoming one of my favorites. He's just so dang huggable! And he loves affection, he's always grabbing my hand, standing right by my side. He's very quiet but has the most charming smile (I have a feeling he's going to look like Taye Diggs when he grows up) and his sweetness really gets to me.

I'm sorry these updates are so long – I realize with the amount of email people get that a two page letter isn't the easiest to take on – but I just can't seem to cut them down – and I'm leaving so much out! In closing, as I continue to settle in, I find there are moments when I think of home and how blessed I am to come from where I do, and moments when I worry this will all end too soon, and I won't be ready to go.

Until next week – the happiest of Easters to all of you,

Megan

*one dead mamba, one puff adder that ended up dead once one of the gardeners found it and another puff adder that Sister Colette thinks she ran over.

**Alas, there were none to be found. Apparently every time the hospital lends out their "dildos" for educational purposes, they go missing…

***I WISH you could see the "diagram" that got drawn. If I were a man and contemplating this as a means of lowering my risk of getting and transmitting HIV, the hand drawn diagram alone would have sent me running in the other direction!